Every year, fans of clown-based rap music, executives from the face paint industry, and pop-culture aficionados who ride the line between ironically liking something and actually liking something look forward to the Gathering Of The Juggalos. It’s the one chunk of the year when the outcasts of the world can truly express themselves with a multi-day orgy of pot, amateur wrestling, extremely angry music, dangerous carnival rides, and, of course, orgies.
However, before the Gathering can begin, we must all first bask in the glory of the annual Gathering Of The Juggalos infomercial, which previews the festival’s events with a level of confidence that would be admirable if it were in service of anything but this. Though last year’s video was based around a wild time travel adventure, this year reins it in with a more low-key infomercial parody featuring Willie Fudge and Connie Queefer discussing the dangers of “staleness.”
Obviously, the only way to combat staleness is by attending the Gathering, but that’s far from the only reason to go. As Fudge and Queefer explain, the real draw is the many musical acts that will be taking the stage and spraying Faygo on a bunch of adoring Juggalos and Juggalettes. Insane Clown Posse will be headlining, of course, and they’ll be joined by Tech N9ne, Suicide Silence, Kottonmouth Kings, Lil’ Wyte, Kung Fu Vampire, One-Eyed Doll (whose clip may be the weirdest part of the whole infomercial), Twiztid, Rittz, Anybody Killa, Kissing Candice, GWAR, Jelly Rolls, Dark Lotus (“evil incarnate”), Lex The Hex Master, The Dayton Family (“fresh out of prison”), Axe Murder Boyz, Young Wicked, and a reunited Bone Thugs-N-Harmony. Also, all of those names are real. We were going to put in a fake one as a joke, but we just couldn’t top those. In fact, here are some others: Hed P.E., Boondox, Asking Alexandria, CES Cru, and Big Hoodoo, whose clip includes the lyric “Boo! Bitch get scared, ‘cause I’m about to get weird.”
For people who need to take a break from all of that, the Gathering will also have a bunch of other activities like “breathtaking seminars,” the “infamous” Miss Juggalette contest, and stand-up comedy from Jim Norton, Jim Breuer, and a guy named Joey Gay who is very concerned about people thinking he chose that name. (Please don’t think that Joey Gay is gay. It’s very important to him.) Juggalos will also be able to buy the Behind The Paint audiobook, which is read by Violent J himself, as well as the new Insane Clown Posse-themed deck-building card game.
If that all sounds good to you, the Gathering will be held from July 20-23 in Thornville, Ohio, and you can find more information at the festival’s official website. Finally, as the old lady says in the video, “fuck you if you don’t Gather.”