Having apparently responded to the backlash against the first poster for its Sonic The Hedgehog movie—released earlier this week—with a resounding “Hold my beer,” the marketing team for the 2019 film appears to have truly outdone itself tonight. A photo of a movie theater standee for the upcoming film is making the rounds on the internet this evening, showing off not only Sonic’s disturbingly jacked and furry blue calves, but also a perspective on San Francisco that we can only describe as “having been shot by a camera resting gently on Sonic The Hedgehog’s dick.”
In fact, the image is so weird that we had to do some digging to confirm that it’s real, and not just the latest iteration of the internet’s abiding interest in Sonic’s hedgified hog. The picture was reportedly taken by Twitter user Greg Arcia, and originally posted by user Mochimurf, who says it was taken at the Century Walnut Creek theater in Walnut Creek, CA. Because we’re both a) journalists, and b) horrifically puerile, we reached out to the the extremely nice (and currently quite confused people) who run said theater and asked them if the standee was authentic; we’ll update this story if and when we hear back from them with a definitive report.
Until then, we’re just going to have to follow our instincts and believe that this magical image of a lounging blue man with extremely wide hips is genuine. We don’t know why the marketing for this film—which stars Comedy Bang Bang/Parks And Recreation favorite Ben Schwartz, who’s probably never going to live this down—is focusing on the things that it is. But it is. God help us all.