My eyes are getting weary
My back is getting tight
I’m sitting here in traffic on the Queensborough bridge tonight
But, I don’t care ‘cause all I want to do...
is cash my check and drive right home to post a tweet about Game Of Thrones 12 years after this sitcom went off the air
We have some questions.
First of all, let’s provide a little context. You may have noticed that social media last night was essentially nothing but a running stream of hot takes about the final episode of Game Of Thrones, arguably the biggest TV show in the world at the moment. (Though let’s not forget, its ratings historically don’t even come close to touching those of The Big Bang Theory, if you want to spend some time thinking about what really matters to people.) It was a rare opportunity for us all to come together as a singular culture, celebrate our common interests, and opine as to whether someone else should have run that fictional country. But amid the deluge of tossed-off jokes and unnecessarily outraged expressions of anger about why there wasn’t more Brienne or whatever, a single tweet rose to the top. A shining, erudite example of the reason we all look to social media to enrich our lives.
Yes, the official Twitter account of CBS’ The King Of Queens chimed in to cheerfully zing the HBO drama with a genteel reminder of TV’s true king, ensconced back in time on his royal couch, making easily digestible jokes about how women are just obsessed with correcting our every little failing, am I right, fellas?
So, a few queries. While we admire the dedication to maintaining an official Twitter account for a decade-old CBS comedy, we’re curious as to who, exactly, is tasked with maintaining it? Does this person simply scan the day’s news headlines and attempt to tie in Kevin James’ small-screen alter-ego? The account has a solid track record of posting on a near-daily basis, which means there’s a clear vested interest in preserving the show’s involvement with the world around us. Does the sentient corporate entity known as CBS dream of the halcyon days of old? (I.e. the aughts?) Do androids dream of electric sitcoms?
The account current has 21,200 followers, which, fair enough, we all like what we like. If you are one of these people, do you follow it for the retweets? The quizzes asking which character from the show you’re most like? We’re honestly just wondering what you get from it. If it’s nothing but a daily reminder of a sitcom that made you laugh, then hey, good on you. But is it something more? Is it a hope that Doug Heffernan will rise from his grave, like one of the Night King’s undead minions, to deliver packages to the living? That he might stagger, zombie-like, onto other shows, to deliver his signature combination of goofball charm and G-rated garrulousness?
Whatever the answer, we’re on board. We want more. Perhaps some photoshopped images of Kevin James in his KOQ uniform beating down John Wick? Snapping Thanos’ neck? We all know who the real finger snapper is. To you, the noble person assigned the Night’s Watch-like duty of keeping this account active, we say: Keep us in your thoughts. Do not let us down. And thus your watch begins.