Speaking of legislation involving both ramifications for the future of the Internet and a bunch of dicks, the Los Angeles City Council voted by an overwhelming margin of 9-1 to require that all porn films shot in the area strictly enforce the use of condoms, as dictated by state health laws regarding killing both the spread of blood-borne pathogens and boners. As an added insult, the vote was taken while most of the porn industry was in Las Vegas, preparing for today’s opening of the Adult Entertainment Expo—but even though they were separated, they could still feel it. “If you want to wear them, wear them. If you don't, don't. That's up to the talent to decide. It shouldn't be up to the government to decide,” said Tabitha Stevens, star of films like Dirty Rotten Mother Fuckers 3, whose future sequels could have their dirtiness and rottenness watered down by bureaucratic interference.

And while the city is still in the early stages of forming a committee of police and state health officials to determine how exactly they’re going to ensure compliance—other than creating one of the absolute best details to get in the entire LAPD—Stevens’ sentiments were echoed by her fellow adult filmmakers, who threatened to just leave California and find some other, more welcoming place to turn into the porn capital of the United States. They also suggested that this would actually increase the risk of spreading HIV and other STDs by relocating to scattered areas and losing its central enforcement of regular testing. So far that’s just a threat, but don’t be surprised to see some Grapes Of Wrath-like jalopies loaded with porn stars and dildos wending their way through your town, searching for the Promised Land.