Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Kimberly Guilfoyle's grotesque RNC speech produces nightmares, memes

Illustration for article titled Kimberly Guilfoyles grotesque RNC speech produces nightmares, memes
Photo: Chip Somodevilla (Getty Images)

Back in 2016, Rudy Giuliani delivered what turned out to be a prophetically insane RNC shill-speech for Donald Trump. Well, four years, countless horrific scandals, a national reckoning with racism, one mishandled pandemic, and whatever the hell this was later, and here we are in 2020. Doing the whole goddamn thing over again.

It was only a matter of time before this year’s Apocalypse Ball gave us a speech befitting Giuliani’s legacy of gross, shrieking incompetence. And it came on night one, with former prosecuting attorney and Fox News commentator/Don Jr.’s girlfriend, Kimberly Guilfoyle bringing the terror.

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Of course, this is only a taste of Guilfoyle’s terrifying speech. You can watch the whole thing here, but, honestly, you should treat yourself with more respect than that. Instead, how about seeing the ways a petrified populace sought to process it?

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It’s probably important to note, as MSNBC’s Ayman Mohyeldin did earlier this morning, that because of the COVID-19 pandemic, pretty much everything at the virtual RNC this year is prerecorded. This means that producers could easily have said something to the effect of, “...Okay, Kimberly. That was certainly one way to deliver our platform message of dystopian terror, intolerance, and inaccurate fear-mongering. How about we try taking that down from a 10 to maybe a 9, or even an 8, just to see how that plays?” Instead, they were totally cool with uploading that for all the world to see. And if that’s not an indictment of the Republican Party’s strategies, then what the hell else is?

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We know it might have been premature to award the Giuliani Legacy Trophy to Guilfoyle so early into the RNC, but on the off-chance that someone manages to top her performance let’s make do our part to ensure her achievements live on forever.

Yes, the #GuilfoyleChallenge has begun.

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Andrew Paul is a contributing writer with work recently featured by NBC Think, GQ, Slate, Rolling Stone, and McSweeney's Internet Tendency. He writes the newsletter, (((Echo Chamber))).

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