Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2

After experiencing the thrill of saving various malls in the Paul Blart movies, Kevin James is ready to take a step back from comedically falling down so he can take on a more serious role. According to Deadline, James is going to star in The True Memoirs Of An International Assassin, a deadly serious thriller about a professional hitman who never comedically falls down. Kick-Ass 2‘s Jeff Wadlow will direct the film, which should help inject it with a healthy amount of senseless violence that is not at all satirical.

Deadline says James’ character will be “a mild-mannered accountant and would-be author” who writes a fiction book about an assassin. Then—because this is a thing that happens all of the time—the book gets mistakenly published as non-fiction, and James suddenly finds himself swept up in an actual assassination plot. To escape real-life killers, James has to “channel his lead character Colt Rodgers and save the day,” by, we assume, comedically falling down. Wait, no, that’s not right. This is a serious thriller, despite the fact that Deadline refers to it as a “comedy” multiple times. It probably doesn’t involve any falling down at all.

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