Here are three different options for reading this Newswire. Choose your own path.

Option A, in which we report only the most salient information: According to The Hollywood Reporter, Paramount has hired Project Runway and Top Chef producers Dan Cutforth and Jane Lipsitz—who also previously wrangled manufactured reality as the producers of Justin Bieber: Never Say Never—to direct a 3-D concert movie starring Katy Perry. The quick-turnaround film will combine concert performances with intimate backstage footage, providing a well-rounded, three-dimensional look at the pop singer at the height of her fame.


Option B, in which we indulge our baser instincts: Boobs.

Option C, in which we distract you with a Dadaist non sequitur: Don’t set that cow on fire, unless you want to get arrested by the Meatloaf Squad.