Kanye West, once one of the most widely celebrated musicians of our day, has lost some of his market value over the last couple of years. Having rebranded himself as both a big time Trump guy and the kind of super-enthusiastic Christian who calls all non-devotional music “secular” and abhors nasty curse words, Ye has lost fans and, most crucially, the kind of cultural cachet that allows an artist to command Coachella to build him a giant dome.
To solve this problem, and enhance his value as a performer, West has now introduced an exciting, very expensive new look to end the year: A special, limited-time variant Kanye completely covered in silver.
Silver Kanye debuted at yesterday’s performance of Mary, the second Bible-and Yeezy-centric pseudo-opera West has put on within the last month. As is appropriate for any retelling of Christ’s birth in a humble manger, West’s take on a nativity play was held at the Miami Marine Stadium and, according to Pitchfork’s summary, was “accessible only via motorboat.”
In a special, festive touch, nearly all of the performers dressed in—and had their faces painted—silver, including the star of the hour himself. They performed a mix of songs from West’s catalogue and Christmas hymns and, in a show of seasonal humility, wrapped things up by returning Silver Kanye to his home planet in a fancy boat while the orchestra played them off.
In terms of modern day Kanye bullshit, all of this is pretty much business as usual. Still, one thing we can be thankful for is that the visuals accompanying the whole thing have led to a bunch of really incredible photos for everyone to enjoy.
Clearly, we were wrong to ever question Kanye’s genius. First off, it’s impossible to think of any better encapsulation of the Christmas spirit than an extremely wealthy man dressed like the silverware kept in a drawer for special family dinners, sipping champagne from a flute smeared with chrome glitter. And, secondly, regardless of how far West ends up diminished as a force in music, this striking new look is sure to capture the hearts of a whole new generation—one whose holiday memories will forever be bound to the time when they excitedly unwrapped their shining Silver Kanye action figures or placed their twinkling Silver Kanye ornaments atop the Christmas tree.
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