Photo: Randy Holmes (Getty Images)

In the past few weeks Kanye West has set out on something like an image rehabilitation tour. Step one was to apologize (kinda, mostly, sort of) for that whole “slavery was a choice” thing. With that out of the way Kanye was free to move on to steps two and three: wearing very small sandals, and following that up by wearing very large sandals. But Kanye is no fool and is aware that no amount of sandals, regardless of novelty sizing, will set things right until he apologizes to the people who he really hurt during his manic month of MAGA: people who are Drake.

In a series of tweets early this morning West apologized to the world’s biggest artist for a number of slights, some of which Drake might actually be mad about and some more likely only perceived by Kanye. Ye, who says he “understand[s] where the confusion started,” begins by apologizing for stepping on the release date for Drake’s latest album, Scorpion.

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It is possible Drake is actually upset about this. Drake opted for a traditional album rollout for his latest blockbuster, releasing advance singles and announcing a firm release date months before Kanye decided on a whim he was going to drop five albums in the five weeks immediately preceding Drake’s own release date. If Drake is truly mad, however, he’s probably going to be waiting a while longer for his apology from Beyonce and Jay-Z.

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Next on the list of grievances is the big one—Kanye’s potential involvement in Pusha T’s Drake-vaporizing “The Story of Adidon”.

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It’s easy to imagine Drake pinning Kanye as a potential source for Pusha’s intel on Drake’s then-unacknowledged child. Kanye served as the sole producer on Pusha’s Daytonathe first and easily best of those aforementioned five albums. Kanye and Pusha were spending plenty of time together during Pusha and Drake’s brief period of renewed hostilities, and Daytona track “Infrared” was the spark that reignited their beef in the first place. Interestingly, Kanye’s denial of his role as Pusha’s source would seem to imply that Kanye and Drake were close enough for Kanye to have prior knowledge about Drake’s secret son, and that it was still enough of a secret for someone like Pusha T to need to hear about it from Kanye.

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But what if it was neither Kanye farting out a release date on top of Drake’s, nor his potential divulgence of Drake’s deepest secret to a rival that Kanye most needed to apologize for? You see, Kanye had one more mea culpa to offer: for not giving Drake the chance to collaborate on the dumbest song of Kanye’s career, Lift Yourself”:

Yes, perhaps all this—rap beef reignited, Drake’s album release nearly derailed, his image irrevocably tarnished—could have been avoided had Drake and Kanye just gotten together to rap a few bars of “Whoopity-scoop, whoop-poop, poop-diddy, whoop-scoop.”

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