Having previously slathered his purple essence across the waiting fingertips of the world with his (now sold-out!) nail polish, One Less Lonely Girl, Justin Bieber has already found another way to bottle desperation with his new perfume. Tellingly titled Someday, it again offers the distant promise that if they just remain patient, soon enough Justin Bieber will be along to service his most devoted fans. In the meantime, she should go ahead and make herself look and smell real pretty according to his Pygmalion-like preferences, in particular his yen for “fruity gourmand” fragrance—which is actually how Bieber’s perfume has been described by marketing executives from the year 1905, before the word “fruity” got all bastardized.

Anyway, should the ‘tween wish fulfillment fantasy vibes emanating from the budding beauty mogul’s product line somehow not be strong enough, here’s the first commercial for Someday, which suggests that one spritz is all it takes before Bieber rushes in to sniff hungrily at your neck, whisks you away for a chaste piggyback ride and other good-touching in the clouds, then gives you a little heart-shaped locket to remember him by. Someday, girls. Someday.

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