The unexamined life is not worth living, even for a dewy, spring-morning marigold such as Justin Bieber: This October, HarperCollins will release the memoir Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever: My Story, whereupon it will join literature’s ever-unfolding chronicle of the human condition, and go right to the top of Nathan Rabin’s Silly Little Showbiz Book Club queue. The Swann’s Way of being a 16-year-old pop singer will tell “the behind-the-scenes story of his journey to superstardom,” presumably in exceedingly large fonts, and the rest of those approximately 50 pages will be taken up by photos and illustrations. No doubt a call has already gone out to the finest  purveyors of etchings and aquatints in the land, so that they may properly capture already-immortal scenes like “Justin Bieber Runs From Girls On His Segway.”

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