World’s oldest 13-year-old Justin Bieber has accrued hundreds of meaningful accolades in his life: a Grammy, a couple of Video Music Awards, let’s just say every Teen Choice Award, zero jail time. Outside of being recognized as a serious artist by Chevrolet, however, few have carried the prestige of a Guinness World Record, that venerable institution recognizing historic achievement in the broad and varied fields of having lots of stuff, as well as doing stuff many times in a row. But now Bieber can claim that honor as well, having been named a Guinness record-holder in eight separate categories of amassing things.
Bieber’s world records, which will now appear in Guinness’ 2017 edition and the pantheon of pub quiz trivia ever after:
-Most streamed track on Spotify in one week (“What Do You Mean?” at 30,723,708 streams)
-Most streamed album on Spotify in one week (Purpose, 205 million times)
-Most simultaneous tracks on the Billboard Hot 100 (17 tracks on December 5, 2015)
-Most simultaneous new entries in the Hot 100 by a solo artist (13 on December 5, 2015)
-First act to land the three top spots on UK singles chart simultaneously (“Love Yourself,” No. 1; “Sorry,” No. 2; and “What Do You Mean?” at No. 3 on January 14, 2016)
-Most Twitter followers - Male (85,235,563)
-Most subscribers on YouTube for a musician - Male (20,711,202 on JustinBieberVEVO)
-Most viewed music channel on YouTube - Individual (10,478,651,389 on JustinBieberVEVO)
Much like growing the world’s longest fingernails, Bieber’s accomplishments were made passively, by simply letting nature take their course, and to many they will prove as off-putting as impressive. On the other hand, you don’t have them. Your YouTube channel is comparatively paltry, and your fingernails may be poorly manicured, but nobody’s putting that in a book.
Members of the Guinness staff presented Bieber with his awards before his recent show at Madison Square Garden, where Bieber posed with the kind of swagger that can only be conferred by a framed certificate, presumably before ripping the World’s Most Kickass Guitar Solo:
In addition to his assistant now needing to break the world record for Goddamn Pictures You Gotta Find Somewhere To Hang, Bieber’s honors were accompanied by similar Guinness Awards to The Weeknd for “Most streamed album on Spotify in one year, current (unique listeners)” and “Most consecutive weeks in the Top 10 of Billboard’s Hot 100 by a solo male artist.” Both of these musicians’ landmark achievements on specific digital media platforms within certain timeframes will join the other 2017 Guinness inductees, like a guy who made a really cool Batman suit and the World’s Most Expensive Sandwich. It’s a grilled cheese.