Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Justin Bieber, Avril Lavigne, and Ryan Gosling are all distantly related, apparently

Photo: Left: Gotham; Top Right: Astrid Stawiarz; Bottom Right: Randy Shropshire (Getty Images)

Canadians traveling abroad are used to being asked, regularly, if they know other Canadians. Someone from Toronto is expected to be familiar with someone from Vancouver; a person from Calgary might be presumed to be friends with a resident of St. John’s. It’s one of the minor, constant annoyances of being Canadian that all Canadians should do their best to discourage.

Naturally, then, cultural ambassador Justin Bieber has posted some Ancestry.com results on Instagram in order to say he’s distantly related to fellow national exports, Avril Lavigne and Ryan Gosling.


As Bieber writes, the discovery that he’s “11th cousin 1x removed” from Gosling and “12th cousin” to Lavigne, marks “the best day of my life.” Though far from finding out they’re unexpectedly brothers and sisters, the family tree shows that all three share the common ancestors, Mathurin Roy and Marguerite Biré, from way, way back. “It seems super legit it’s on ancestry.com” Bieber adds, shoring up any doubts that he is, in fact, very distantly related to two other famous Ontarians.

While it’s a harmless enough bit of trivia, Bieber has betrayed his fellow Canadians by furthering the stereotype that the nation consists of, like, 100 people who all know each other. This may seem innocuous to Americans, but is an unforgivable offense to his fellow citizens who will continue to be faced with questions about how some guy on the other side of the country is doing when abroad. Please, spend more picking fights with old people, Bieber, and less digging around family trees.

[via Consequence Of Sound]

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com


Share This Story

Get our newsletter

About the author

Reid McCarter

Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.