In the ye olden days of the pandemic, sometime in April, a popular joke made the rounds that went a little something like this:
For the visual learners, another popular meme was a photo of the gates to Jurassic Park, accompanied by the caption, “You know what else was opened before it was ready?” LOL, we all responded, and proceeded to go about our 1000-piece puzzles, back when those were still novel and fun. But here we are in June, having traded our puzzles for playing the stalk market in Animal Crossing, and it seems that life has once again, uh, found a way to imitate art—or, in this case, life imitates art that mocks life imitating art, or something. In any case, Jurassic World: Dominion is set to become the first big studio movie to head back into production in the UK, as Deadline reports that Universal is eyeing a July re-start at Pinewood Studios. Yes, Jurassic Park/World is re-opening despite warnings from experts because we live in a fucking dystopia where government leaders and corporations are more knowledgeable about a pandemic than the people who actually study them.
Everything is fine! Don’t worry! Universal is implementing costly safety measures, including multiple tests of cast and crew members throughout shooting, 150 hand sanitizer stations (UNPRECEDENTED!), and something called “nightly anti-viral fogs,” which sounds an awful lot like crop-dusting—but like, for germs. Oh, and they’ve employed “a private medical facility called Your Doctor,” which definitely sounds very real and not at all like two iPhone apps stacked on top of each other in a trench coat.
You might even say that Universal has... (tips shades) spared no expense.