It would be an understatement to say Jurassic World stirred up some controversy on the internet. No, not over whether those raptors should actually have feathers (as B.D. Wong’s Dr. Henry Wu explains, these dinosaurs were genetically engineered to be terrifying not scientifically accurate). The real hullabaloo was over the choice to have icy executive Claire Dearing (Bryce Dallas Howard)—a woman so unfeeling she can’t even remember the exact ages of her two nephews—wear high heels for the entirety of the film. She stubbornly stays in her stilettos as she marches through a marshy jungle (where this sort of thing tends to happen), scurries around the park looking for her family, and even flat out tries to outrun a charging dinosaur.
Was this perhaps a sly feminist statement, one that allowed our female action hero to remain “feminine” even as she helped save the day? Or was it a choice so impractical it could only have been made by a male creator with no experience wearing heels who assumed the sole way to express femininity is through shoes?
While the high heel debate rages on (perhaps Claire was just “more comfortable” out running a dino that clocks in at 32 miles per hour while on pointy sticks with no traction?), Chicago comedy group XVP Comedy decided to skirt the whole issue by equalizing the playing field. If Claire wants to wear high heels, then everyone in the franchise should wear high heels. This promo video for the Jurassic Park Box Set: High Heels Edition remasters footage from the first three films so that now Ian Malcolm, Alan Grant, Ellie Satler, Paul Kirby, and more all don the kind of footwear that lets the world know they aren’t afraid to face down terrifying beasts and look fabulous while they do so!