Julia Roberts has officially signed on as the Queen in Tarsem Singh’s 3-D The Brothers Grimm: Snow White, starring as a self-obsessed fading beauty whose bitterness at being displaced by those younger and softer than her has turned her black heart brittle and her once-musical laugh into a mirthless, thorny bray devoid of genuine emotion. Julia Roberts will use acting.

This version of Snow White, as co-producer Brett Ratner has been promising you and your grandfather for months now, will be a modern retelling with extra “comedy and adventure,” according to Variety, with Snow White (who has yet to be cast) teaming up with the seven dwarves to reclaim her late father’s kingdom from her evil stepmother, played by Roberts. So basically, 1998’s Stepmom, but with more dwarves and no cancer. It’s also the second Snow White film that will be released in 2012—though this one will precede Snow White And The Huntsman (with Charlize Theron starring as The Evil Queen) by about six months, so everyone should be dying for another one by then.

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