Apparently frustrated with setting the idiots of the world straight one by one, “Judge” Judy Sheindlin is going for more of a nuclear approach by giving away her new book, What Would Judy Say: Be The Hero Of Your Own Story, to anyone who wants it. Sheindlin, who according to TV Guide pulls in a cool $47 million a year elucidating the finer points of elimination and precipitation, says the book offers straight talk for women in danger of drowning in their own nonsense, like a bunch of scantily clad turkeys in a rainstorm of foolishness. Said straight talk is offered in the form of anecdotes from Sheindlin’s own life and “Judy’s 10 Laws Of Success,” which include “be indispensable,” “use your assets,” “lighten up,” and “for God’s sake, don’t ever let your ex-boyfriend live in your basement rent-free, no matter how well his interview at Arby’s went.”

[via The Associated Press]