Stepping into what mustt have been the most awkward conversation held between a band and their drummer since the last time a band was forced to have a conversation with its drummer, a judge has blocked Joey Kramer’s legal efforts to force Aerosmith to let him play with them at the Grammys this weekend. Per Deadline, a Massachusetts judge ruled tonight that Aerosmith’s decision not to allow Kramer—who hasn’t performed with the group since last year, when he suffered unnamed “minor injuries”—to play when they receive an award on Sunday night does not constitute breach of contract, as he and his lawyers were asserting.
In fact, the judge essentially said what Aerosmith said in their statement yesterday: If Kramer wanted to play at the Grammys this year, he probably should have gotten all of this in place before the band was just days away from playing together on national TV. To quote: “Given that Kramer has not played with the band in 6 months and the dearth of available rehearsal time before the upcoming performances, Kramer has not shown a realistic alternative course of action sufficient to protect the band’s business interests.”
Kramer, of course, says he’s been trying, and that the band has been stopping him, up to and including forcing him to record an “audition” to return, which they then rejected for lacking “energy.”. The other members of Aerosmith, meanwhile, maintain that they would love for their bandmate of 50 years to come back into the fold—just not with zero rehearsal time ahead of a major event. They’ve also been vocal about their desire to have Kramer at the Grammys alongside them, just not performing with them on stage. (Although to be fair, they made that statement before today’s legal ruling; who knows how well the whole “suing to get back into the band thing” is going with people behind the scenes.)
Still, though, we have to say this sets a good precedent: Once suing your way into Aerosmith becomes an acceptable legal maneuver, who knows how far it’d go? Soon we’d all be hiring lawyers to score us plum spots in Boston or Steely Dan. Anarchy would reign, as lawyers then began suing themselves into the ranks of Cheap Trick or the Who. Madness in the streets! Love in an elevator! Revolution X!