Father’s Day is a great time to either coldly ignore the negligent monster absent from your childhood or celebrate the man who helped you with your homework, coached your little league team, and taught you “the fucking zoo’s closed” when you wanted to waste time staring at caged animals.

Because everybody knows that child actors are immaculately conceived during open casting calls, Screen Junkies has given young thespians a platform for thanking the next best thing to a real father: their on-screen dads. Last year, RJ Mitte thanked his Breaking Bad dad, Walter White, for being a great father, and an even better meth chef.

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This year, Jonathan Lipnicki, as Ray Boyd, sends some warm wishes to his sports-agent dad, Jerry Maguire. Ray Boyd was that cute little tyke sporting button-down shirts, Guy Fieri’s hair, and the glasses Peter Billingsley wore in A Christmas Story. In actuality, Tom Cruise’s Maguire wasn’t Boyd‘s father, but it doesn’t stop the all-grown up (and fully shredded) Lipnicki from acknowledging the impact that Maguire had on him. Lipnicki also ruminates on Maguire’s strange fixation on cute little Ray, and to his own post-Jerry Maguire career.

This Father’s Day, don’t forget the manic agent who orchestrated your upbringing, held meetings with teachers, and negotiated for the best slumber parties. No, we’re not talking about Mom; it’s the other one). If you’re trying to decide between a nice tie, a new sand wedge, a nice bottle of Scotch, or a drawing he can hang up with fridge magnets, remember; you can’t go wrong if you just show him the money.

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