Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Not being a celebrity sure is weird, right? Nobody follows us around, telling us what to do with our millions of dollars, guiding us into the secret backdoors of expensive restaurants and stores, and keeping the disgusting normal people from putting their chocolate-covered hands all over us. Surely, the only thing more interesting than not being a celebrity would be if someone who is celebrity were plucked from their golden tower and dropped into the mud to live like one of us animals. If someone did that and filmed the whole thing, it would probably be the most captivating and relatable reality show of all time.

That’s what certified famous person Jon Bon Jovi is hoping, at least, since he’s the one actually making a show like that. According to Variety, the series will be titled If I Wasn’t A Rock Star and it will be about famous musicians who “return to their hometowns sans armies of agents and publicists, forcing them to consider how their lives would differ out of the spotlight.” Of course, Jon Bon Jovi in Perth Amboy, New Jersey is still Jon Bon Jovi, so it’s not like he’s moving home and getting a job at the Perth Amboy Taco Bell (famous for its 3.1 star rating on Google). All joking aside, though, Bon Jovi says the show is “a celebration of the working men and women of this country,” who he says are “the real rock stars.” Aww, it would be touching if it weren’t so pandering!


Also, speaking of “weren’t,” shouldn’t the show be called If I Weren’t A Rock Star? That’s more grammatically correct, at least, which is the best kind of correct. Maybe they didn’t teach that at St. Joseph High School in Metuchen, New Jersey? Either way, If I Were Not A Rock Star is still early in development, so that’s all we know for now.

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