Screenshot: YouTube

If you haven’t seen John Wick, you should probably not read this post. If you have, you know that it is the heartwarming story of a man and his dog, followed immediately by the heartwarming story of a man murdering everyone involved with murdering his dog. In the lead-up to John Wick: Chapter 2, which premieres this Friday, there has been much speculation about the presence of a new dog—will it, too, die? Will it get to kill? Will the dog talk, and if so, will it be funny? Can the dog skateboard? Does the dog wear glasses?

None of those questions are answered in the below short film, which imagines: What if it was John Wick who died, and his dog who did the revenge-killing? The short is notable mostly for the myriad solutions the dog creates for his lack of opposable thumbs, including pawing a phone in place and holding a gun in his mouth.

If you’re still hungry for some totally inconsequential John Wick-related content, Honest Trailers has tackled the movie, noting, among other things, that it is the eighth time Keanu Reeves has played a person named “John.”

Now we’re just waiting on the video that connects all of Reeves’ Johns into a single shared universe, in which Jonathan Harker becomes a vampire in Bram Stoker’s Dracula (thus explaining his long life) and then goes on to make love in Much Ado About Nothing, learn to surf as Johnny Utah in Point Break, and finally turn into a courier in the dystopian future of Johnny Mnemonic.

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