Like the Notorious B.I.G. before him, John Oliver has been in the game for years, and it’s made him an animal. But in Oliver’s case, the game in question is regifting unwanted Christmas presents. Still, there are rules to this shit, and he has written a manual. And now, in keeping with Last Week Tonight’s admirable policy of producing new content during its hiatuses, Oliver has posted a new video with some sound, useful advice about sneakily foisting unwanted Christmas presents on friends, relatives, and coworkers without getting caught. Because, let’s face it, a scented candle is “just a candle that’s extra desperate for attention.”
Rule numero uno in Oliver’s guidebook: “Never regift to someone who knows the original gifter.” Too risky. Oliver recommends adding some distance by regifting in the safest possible place: “an office Secret Santa, because regifting there is like peeing in the ocean.” The comedian also says that a personalized note will add to the subterfuge and make the recipient think there actually was some thought behind the gift. (Be careful, though, with boxed wine and self-help books.) The next step is to create what politicians call plausible deniability. The key here, Oliver attests, is rewrapping. And for those too lazy and/or incompetent to wrap presents, there is the humble but useful gift bag, “the sweatpants of gift wrapping.” Finally, don’t get greedy. Maintain a single regift per person ratio each year, otherwise “you’re flying too close to the sun,” Oliver warns.
Last Week Tonight returns in February 2016.
[via The Wrap]