Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

John C. Reilly recalls the utter terror of pissing next to Jack Nicholson

Illustration for article titled John C. Reilly recalls the utter terror of pissing next to Jack Nicholson
Photo: KMazur (Getty Images)

Yesterday’s episode of Tim Heidecker’s Office Hours podcast—a chaotic call-in show co-hosted by comedic artists Vic Berger and Doug “DJ Douggpound” Lussenhop—was packed with big names, from John C. Reilly to Tim Robinson to the grandson of Jim Bakker, the televangelist grifter who’s currently in hot water for trying to shill a bogus coronavirus “cure.” Each segment was memorable in its own way, but it was Reilly’s wily tale of an evening spent with Jack Nicholson that resonates strongest, if only for the hysterical way Reilly recalls the terror of urinating next to the legendary actor, whose stream he describes as “full horse piss.”

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“You wanna talk about shy bladder?” Reilly says, cracking that Nicholson’s presence caused his penis to crawl back inside of him until it looked “like a bellybutton.” The story doesn’t end there, however. Reilly recalls Nicholson turning to him mid-stream to ask if he was “a fan of U2,” saying he could get him into a show of theirs in Detroit. “They’re pals of mine, you’re in,” Reilly says in his best Jack voice.

From there, Reilly recalls the weirdness of Nicholson sitting in the passenger seat of the limo as everyone else sat in the back, U2's refusal to allow anyone who isn’t Nicholson to come into their dressing room, and the way the actor grooved to “Mysterious Ways.”

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Hear the full story below.

I Think You Should Leave’s Tim Robinson also dropped in, reviving a bit that went viral last week in which the comedian laments that he can’t buy any “Halloween stuff” at a protest of Michigan’s stay-at-home orders. On the call, he says that, due to the lockdown, he’s “very worried about not being prepared” for Halloween, as he runs a “massive, MASSIVE haunted house” filled with “bowls of noodles that are guts.”

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“I have enough now to do it, but not on the level I want,” he says, noting that this is the time of year when he and about “10 other guys” fight over the best Halloween supplies. He’s not protecting himself with any medical face masks, he adds, but rather a “wolf mask, just ‘cause i enjoy it.”

Hear Robinson’s hilarious call below.

Finally, James Chapman, the grandson of Jim Bakker and Tammy Faye Messner, pops in to discuss what it was like working for the televangelist. It turns out Chapman is a fan of Berger’s feverish edits of Bakker’s TV show, and that his grandfather has previously gifted him some of his end-times food buckets as a gift.

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Hear their fascinating chat below.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

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Randall Colburn is The A.V. Club's Internet Culture Editor. He lives in Chicago, occasionally writes plays, and was a talking head in Best Worst Movie, the documentary about Troll 2.

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