Back in 2011, there were approximately six Peter Pan projects in development—a ragtag group of orphaned fairy-tale reimaginings that refused to grow up and accept that fairy-tale reimaginings were not nearly the blockbuster genre Alice In Wonderland had suggested, only to be fed one by one to a hungry crocodile, in our own fairy-tale reimagining. Now Warner Bros. may clap its hands the hardest and force Peter Pan back to life with yet another version from Anna Karenina director Joe Wright. The Hollywood Reporter says Wright is in talks to “give Pan the Batman Begins treatment,” as our culture is incapable of understanding the concept of a character’s origin beyond the context of a movie from eight years ago.
Anyway, this would seem to be in direct conflict with Disney’s similar prequel Peter And The Starcatchers—though, that obviously matters little in a world that’s also developing the Channing Tatum-produced origin story Pan, imagining what if Peter and Captain Hook were brothers and maybe Channing Tatum takes his shirt off, are you interested now?, and also Neverland, which makes Peter Pan the child-abducting villain and Captain Hook the hero who helps stop him from being an unsullied beloved literary figure. This, of course, in addition to the many, many other Peter Pans still out there, watching from the windowsill, just waiting for the alien pirate invasion you know someone else is pitching right now.