Were you under the impression that, just because Joe Carnahan’s The A-Team uses the same premise, characters, and title as the 1980s TV show, it’s somehow a “remake”? Then you, sir or madam, are a fucking idiot. In a recent interview, Carnahan was quoted as saying, “I keep reading we're remaking The A-Team, but how the hell do you remake a TV series that ran four years? It's idiotic! You can re-engineer and re-imagine it, but it's definitely not a remake."

Hear that? It’s not a remake so much as a re-imagination. A reworking, maybe. A reshaping, okay. A re-dreaming, absolutely. But definitely not a remaking, which would just be plain idiotic, and a blatant attempt to exploit the already-ingrained public goodwill toward a recognizable property. Because even though the premise, characterizations, title, catchphrases and affectations, winking cameos from former stars, and inclusion of the theme song would suggest that it’s basically a big-screen remake of the TV show, Carnahan “insists that the modern times, place, story and cast”—which are certainly not the sort of things one would normally find in a remake—“help make the movie different.” Idiots, please adjust your discussions of The A-Team: The Re-Imagineering accordingly.

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