Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Joe Biden speaks and the world cringes

Illustration for article titled Joe Biden speaks and the world cringes
Photo: Gabriel Aponte (Getty Images)

Well, someone at the DNC headquarters yanked a big lever this weekend, signaling to Pete Buttigieg and Amy Klobuchar that it was time to end their presidential campaigns and line up behind their golden boy, former Vice President Joe Biden. As of last night, Mayor Pete and Klobuchar have officially endorsed Biden, as has former candidate, Beto “We Cannot Return To The Past” O’Rourke, who, by the way, was just “denounced in the comatorium” by his old buddy and bandmate, Cedric Bixler-Zavala, who’s now all in for Bernie Sanders. (Play a rally, Cedric!)

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These endorsements come in the wake of Biden winning the South Carolina primary, sure, but they also follow a well-publicized scandal involving his son, Hunter—that Donald Trump will surely never bring up, along with Anita Hill and Biden’s Iraq War voteas well as years of him spiraling into gibberish every time a mic is placed in front of him. What’s even worse is that some of his most bizarre ramblings occurred over the last few days.

The Daily Show’s Trevor Noah took an opportunity to present some last night, including a clip in which the presidential candidate’s quoting of the Declaration of Independence devolves into nonsense before, as if he were referring to the chorus of “Tubthumping,” he says “you know the thing.

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“Yo,” Noah intones, “This is not good.”

This, obviously, isn’t a new phenomenon. Video satirist Vic Berger’s been chronicling the former Vice President’s deteriorating brain for ages—the below supercuts, for example, include one terrifying speech in which Biden takes an eternity to tell a story about children rubbing his “hairy legs.”

This utter terror hasn’t been lost on Twitter, either, where people have been posting about their own visions of what a debate between the two would look like. The general consensus: Not a single lick of substance will emerge, with Trump lobbing softball insults and words like “Burisma” as Biden stammers and loses his cool.

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Randall Colburn is The A.V. Club's Internet Culture Editor. He lives in Chicago, occasionally writes plays, and was a talking head in Best Worst Movie, the documentary about Troll 2.

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