Look, we’re sure you’re all responsible adults who wash your hands and wear your seatbelts and make sure your chicken is cooked to a safe temperature before eating it. But is a life without risk a life worth living? Don’t you want to live a little dangerously? C’mon, didn’t you see Fight Club?
Okay. Here’s what you do. Sit down in front of your computer and fire up your search engine of choice. Go to the search box and type in these words: “Jimmy Kimmel.” Look around to make sure no one is watching, then press “Enter.” Now, don’t you feel more alive?
Searching for Jimmy Kimmel (also the title of our memoirs) is a dangerous proposition, now that Internet security company McAfee has named him the celebrity most likely to lead to a computer virus when you search for his name online. The study, which McAfee has conducted for the past eight years and comes with less-than-subtle calls for consumers to protect themselves via McAfee products, tests the likelihood of encountering a site containing viruses, malware, spyware, and other things it’s practically impossible to clear from your computer when researching different celebrities online.
McAfee says that celebrity news is particularly prone to malicious sites, as users are “sacrificing safety for immediacy” in their bloodthirsty quest for the latest Hollywood gossip. “Cybercriminals capitalize on consumers’ attention to breaking celebrity news and leverage this behavior to lead them to unsafe sites that can severely infect their computers and devices and steal personal data,” McAfee “chief consumer security evangelist” Gary Davis says.
Bruce Springsteen, Britney Spears, Jon Bon Jovi, and Chelsea Handler are also likely to give you a virus. Here’s McAfee’s top 10, along with the likelihood of inadvertently downloading something nasty when searching for them online:
Jimmy Kimmel— 19.38 percent
Armin Van Buuren— 19.33 percent
Ciara— 19.31 percent
Flo Rida— 18.89 percent
Bruce Springsteen— 18.82 percent
Blake Shelton— 18.47 percent
Britney Spears— 18.19 percent
Jon Bon Jovi— 17.64 percent
Chelsea Handler— 17.22 percent
Christina Aguilera— 16.67 percent