Every year, Jimmy Kimmel caps off the Halloween season with footage of crying children. Parents send in videos of them lying to their kids about having gobbled up all of their Halloween candy and a nation laughs at the subsequent tears. It’s really weird! I don’t get it. It would fuck me up to know my parents made me cry to get on a TV show.
Anyways, Kimmel appears to be developing some sense of self-awareness about this twisted tradition, telling viewers this week that the “kids have suffered enough” and that he had planned to take a year off from encouraging parents to satiate his thirst for child tears. The monster he’s created, however, no longer needs him. Hundreds of parents, acting independently of Kimmel, sent along videos of their leaking spawn for the public’s enjoyment.
“So, what the hell, here it is,” says Kimmel.
Some kids, having grown wise after years of being lied to, see right through the ruse. Others remind their guardians that Jesus said to “not lie.” One wet-eyed girl says her candy was “special.” They will all discuss this in therapy one day.
But then there’s the children who tell their parents that it’s okay and they love them anyway and, yeah, fine, that’s pretty cute.
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