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Jimmy Buffett concert plagued by rogue human excrement

Now that's a man that looks like he knows about poop. (Image by: Getty Images)

A New England town is bravely facing down one of history’s greatest scourges: Buckets of excrement produced by Jimmy Buffett fans.

Police and security staff at Mansfield, Massachusetts’ Xfinity Center were forced to prowl Parrotheads’ pre-concert tailgates last Saturday night searching for what fans call “makeshift potties.” Basically buckets with either pool noodles or toilet seats on top, the faux-toilets are what hard-drinking, jerk-food-eating Buffett fans use pre-show, usually in miniature tents, as an attempt to avoid long porta-potty lines.


While that’s lazy and disgusting enough, what’s even worse is that Parrotheads have a tendency to leave those buckets behind in the parking lot after the show, sticking underpaid workers with potentially toxic waste. In an interview with The Sun Chronicle, Mansfield’s police chief, Ronald Sellon, called the issue not only a health code violation but also just plain “unsanitary” and “disrespectful.” Look, Buffett fans: Pollute your ears with aural shit all you want. Just don’t force your actual shit on other people.

Police estimated that they told between 75 and 100 people to take down their makeshift outhouses during tailgating but still ended up finding about 10 poop buckets just hanging around after the show.

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