Fox News' Roger Friedman has a column today dealing in part with the quietly disappeared Jessica Simpson vehicle Major Movie Star, a film that has yet to see the light of day in the U.S. Why? Well, here's the premise, via the IMDB:

When fluffy, bubble gum movie star Megan Parker suddenly finds herself broke and humiliated in the public eye, she wanders from the wreckage of a car accident and witlessly enlists in the U.S. Army hoping in vain that it will change her life.



Sure, that sounds a bit like Private Benjamin. But Benjamin starred talented comedienne Goldie Hawn while Simpson's past forays into screen comedy have proven far less beloved. Also, the comedy chops of director Steve Miner (Friday The 13th Part 3, Halloween H2O, Big Bully) seem a little questionable. All of which goes to explain why the film, per Friedman, has no set premiere in any country "in which English is the primary language."

But Simpson can rest easy about her popularity in Russia, however, where it topped the box office in October 9th. A Bulgarian debut will follow in November.

Also, while we're on the subject of Russian/American cultural exchange, where the hell is the Mischa Barton-starring You And I, a.k.a. Finding T.A.T.U.?