As part of his ongoing drive to become totally ubiquitous, Jeremy Renner was recently involved in a crazed, early-morning bar brawl in Thailand, narrowly escaping serious injury after a group of the club’s employees attacked him and his party. According to the Phuket Gazette (by way of TMZ), the incident began when Renner accompanied resort manager Vorasit Issara to a pub for some after-hours drinking, during which Issara (who had already been arguing with the staff), dropped a glass on the floor. So naturally the bar’s six employees responded in kind, stabbing Issara in the stomach with knives, then severing his neck tendons with “a homemade axe fashioned from a motorcycle brake rotor,” leaving him hospitalized. Sources seem to be inconsistent as to whether Renner was also hurt: The original report said he suffered minor injuries, while his rep now claims that Renner left the bar as soon as the melee began and wasn’t hurt at all. Which, if true, would definitely illustrate to Renner the benefit of sometimes not being in something.

And yes, Sean Bean still wins.