Bringing an end to months of speculation that introduced us to the concept of a “dressing room compound,” Jennifer Lopez has reportedly closed her long-gestating deal to offer noncommittal statements that can loosely be interpreted as criticism on American Idol. Lopez will get “a little more than $12 million” for a contract that has her locked down for at least one year, at which point we’ll have to go through this whole miserable process all over again. Maybe we should go ahead and start speculating about who her replacement will be. We're gonna say Cyndi Lauper.