Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Jason is kid-friendly at last thanks to this Friday The 13th cartoon

Illustration for article titled Jason is kid-friendly at last thanks to this iFriday The 13th/i cartoon
Screenshot: Movieclips

Any movie can become a children’s cartoon if networks try hard enough. Beetlejuice may have been a bit much for kids, but swap Michael Keaton for a loose-limbed animated version and there you go: He’s ready for Saturday morning. The Rambo movies definitely weren’t aimed at teaching youngsters about war-induced PTSD and Afghan mujahideen tactics, but once Sylvester Stallone was turned into a muscle-bound cartoon, it was time for kids to get acquainted with him anyway. Even Paul Verhoeven’s Starship Troopers was fodder for a kids’ TV show that used charmingly antiquated CGI to soften the film’s satirical bite.

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In light of these examples, it really isn’t all that ridiculous to imagine an alternate timeline that gave us another unlikely adaptation of a hit film—to pretend we grew up in a world good enough to provide us with the ongoing adventures of Jason And Friends.

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The fake show intro comes courtesy of Mike Chiechi’s Frank’s Kid page. It imagines Friday The 13th as a wacky cartoon series where that lovable serial murderer Jason transforms from lumpy mutant into the hulking avatar of hate we know and love once he slaps on his hockey mask. Accompanied by the toy-ready sidekicks of Mrs. Voorhees’ severed head and a dog in a matching mask, Jason flies a spaceship, rides a horse through the desert, and gets into hijinks like slashing camp counselors apart with a machete or slamming their heads together until their faces are left a misshapen ruin.

Though Jason And Friends never actually existed, Chiechi makes a strong case for correcting that mistake by showing just how well Friday The 13th would work as a blood-soaked cartoon. With the way things have been going, maybe modern kids would even find it a little comforting to enjoy the escapism of an immortal murder machine stalking his victims. Jason sure beats thinking about the far greater horrors of the world they’re inheriting, after all.

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[via Bloody Disgusting]

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Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.

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