Suggesting that a certain famous Hollywood actor has effectively zero respect for the lowly dirt-people who write about him and his celebrity ilk, James Caan has dropped out of Fantasy Life, Fox’s in-development fantasy football pilot. Now, there’s nothing wrong with changing your mind and deciding that a job just isn’t going to work for you, but we just wrote about Caan joining the show in the first place a couple of days ago. That means that Caan not only wasted our time, he wasted the time of every lovely soul who was kind enough to read that earlier article. Just think of all the things we/you could’ve done if we hadn’t written/read that article. We could’ve gone out and met the love of our lives. We could’ve called our parents and told them we love them. We could’ve actually made it to our son’s birthday party on time for once.
Look, we know James Caan was in The Godfather and that makes him an Important Guy, but is it really so hard for him to stick to his commitments for, oh, four days? He doesn’t even need to last a week. We just want a couple more days so we can pretend for a little longer that what we do here isn’t utterly insignificant to the great James fucking Caan.
Deadline says Caan left Fantasy Life because it conflicted with the schedule for Frank D’Angelo’s Sicilian Vampire—which Caan had committed to previously. To be fair, it’s a little hard to blame him when you consider that Michael Madsen has a role in Sicilian Vampire as well. It’s not every day that you get to work with a guy who has literally never turned down a role, especially since Caan turns down roles every chance he gets. Anyway, Caan’s part on Fantasy Life—he was going to play a cranky ex-football player who works on a fantasy football show with Kevin Connolly—is going to be recast. We have no idea who is going to take over for him, but we can say with absolute certainty that whoever it is will do a better job than Caan would have.
Seriously, though, we’re just joking around. In all honesty, we wish Caan the best of luck in the remaining years of his acting career. Now, to prove there are no hard feelings, here’s one of our favorite James Caan scenes: