The Daily Show host Trevor Noah introduced its latest Senior Youth Correspondent on Thursday night, Jaboukie Young-White, and immediately blew it, just like an old person. Referring to the upcoming, democracy-in-the-balance midterm elections, Noah, talking about the vital role of young voters in determining whether a greying cabal of racist greedheads will continue to abet the crotchety right-wing takeover of the American experiment at the whim of a Russian asset reality show host, tried to ingratiate himself with his new, cool young colleague by invoking the chummy “we.” Big mistake, as Young-White, calling the born in 1984 Noah a “vintage millennial,” referred to himself (b. 1994) and his peers as “young-young,” and launched his Daily Show tenure by explaining all the reasons why the young-young are less likely to vote.
Apart from the fact that young potential voters are less impressed by network pollsters harassing them at bus stops in pitch-perfect imitation of that particular Steve Buscemi meme all the kids are meme-ing, and hashtagging, and whatnot, Young-White ran through some other factors. Paper ballots? What are we, Nick Cannon? Postmates that shit. And, Young-White asked Noah, do old people (like Noah) know how hard it is to get a Tuesday off to vote? A national voting holiday would keep the young-young from having to ask their new nightly show boss for next Tuesday off, even though it’s not an election day and he just started working there. Throughout, Young-White was the sharply funny presence he’s been on what old-ass Noah no doubt calls “the Twitter” and in the writing room of shows like Big Mouth and American Vandal, plying a fresh-faced trade in double-edged satire of old and young (and young-young) alike. But seriously, you kids, go out and vote on November 6th (yes, a Tuesday) or you’re going to get stuck with people even older and lamer than Trevor Noah making your life fucking miserable. (Here’s how to find out if you’re registered—it’s even on that internet you love so damn much.)