Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

It's time to dump all of your money into Akon's cryptocurrency "Akoin"

Photo: Antony Jones (Getty Images)

The wild world of cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin and Steven Seagal’s Bitcoiin often seems silly, stupid, and scammy, but we think we’ve finally found a digital money scheme that seems totally legitimate. It’s called “Akoin,” and it comes from musician Akon. As reported by Page Six, Akon is planning to use the money he makes from Akoin to help fund his Lightning Africa project, which involves promoting the use of solar power in Africa, and he’s apparently hoping to set up an Akoin-dependent community called Akon Crypto City that has Akoin “at the center of transactional life.”

That may sound a little ridiculous, but there’s no need to worry about any of this. Akon knows exactly what he’s doing—or at least he knows people who know what they’re doing. “I come with the concepts,” he explained at the Cannes Lions festival, “and let the geeks figure it out.” If you’d like to start converting your money to Akoin and/or want to move to Akon Crypto City so your Akoins will really be worth something, you can find more information at this link.


Akoin aside, Akon also has some other big things in the works. For one thing, he says he’s planning to challenge Donald Trump and Kaye West for the U.S. presidency in 2020. That may sound similarly ridiculous, but he actually has a really solid plan for how to shut both of them down in the first debate. Here it is in full:

I’m going to go after Trump and Kanye will get offended because he likes Trump and he’s going to go after me. Then I’m going to go after Kanye and then Trump’s going to get offended because he likes Kanye and he’s going to go after me. And the debate stage will be set where it’s all about me. It’s perfect, a masterplan.

Barring that, Akon would settle for getting Trump “into the ring” for a boxing or MMA event. “Someone’s got to defeat that bully,” he says. So yeah, Akon is now the frontrunner for the 2020 election and a true cryptocurrency mogul.

Share This Story