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It's Rumor Time: Squidward might be freed from the tyranny of SpongeBob at last

Admittedly, this picture is only tangentially related to this story. But also, it identifies Casey Mears as “driver of the #13 Squidward Tentacles Chevrolet,” and that is extremely funny to us.
Photo: Jeff Zelevansky (Getty Images)

Does any cartoon character live in a more brightly colored Sisyphean hell than Squidward Tentacles? Trapped in equal measure by his deeply irritating neighbors, and his own myriad failings as a person/octopus thing, Bikini Bottom’s most relentlessly dour resident just can’t catch a break—to the point that even his gods (i.e., animators) couldn’t help but reference a popular meme recently in which he finally (inevitably?) takes his own life.

But there may be light at the end of this water-filled tunnel: While the sourcing on this is a little loose—appearing to originate with Hypebeast’s Hypebae affiliate, and so far uncommented upon in the major trades—Squidward might soon be getting his own spin-off project, freed from the tyranny of SpongeBob at last. The news comes after Variety reported earlier this year that, after 20 years of nautical nonsense, Nickelodeon has been looking at developing some new projects for its undersea world; meanwhile, a trailer for the CGI film Sponge On The Run was just released, and Netflix has been busy signing a new development deal with the kids’ network. It’s a busy time to be an ambulatory sponge and the poor doomed soul living in close proximity to his endlessly cheerful idiocy, is what we’re trying to say.

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According to the reports, the Squidward special would focus on music—presumably showing this poor, beaten creature sitting quietly in his home, free to practice his clarinet in peace at last. Which sounds pretty boring fod a kids’ cartoon, but still better than subjecting him to some fresh Purgatory of asinine evils instead, which would be an act of animated villainy we can’t even bring ourselves to fathom.

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