Spicer, pictured striding forward like a suit-clad gazelle. (Photo: Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

What do you do when you’ve failed out of the biggest job of your career, in what might be the most high-profile way humanly possible? If rumors currently swirling around soon-to-be former White House press secretary Sean Spicer are to be believed, you might just slap on your dancing shoes and get ready to cut a rug on national TV.

Spicer is reportedly in talks with a number of TV networks looking to cash in on his weirdly hypnotic brand of blustery anti-charisma (and connection to Donald Trump), with the presumed hope that he’d end up on the usual roster of TV news talking heads after he leaves his job in August. The weirdest offer, though, apparently came from the reality show masterminds at ABC, who are rumored to be attempting to lure ol’ Spicey in to appear on Dancing With The Stars. Presumably, the producers have watched Spicer’s various evasions, dodges, and bizarre leaps of logic from the press room podium and decided, “He’s a natural.”

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Now, this is all per The New York Post’s Page Six column, which tends to fall into the “Interesting if true” category of credibility. So we probably shouldn’t let the irresistible image of Spicer, red-faced and choking on a fist-sized wad of cinnamon gum as he attempts to execute a pirouette, seduce us into believing this beautiful nightmare might come to pass. For the record, the man himself—and the show’s masters at ABC—have both issued a “no comment” on his potential casting.