It’s happened to us all: You walk into a work luncheon or dinner reception or all-you-can-eat buffet and realize, immediately, that you are going to eat a shitload of food. There is much more food available than you can possibly eat, and there is no reason to contain your impulse to eat all of it, and so you make a valiant attempt. You plan plates accordingly. The first one is just sampling options, the second one is the proper meal, the third one is like revisiting old friends. A twinkle enters your eye as you ingest one final Southwestern egg roll. You wait awhile, breathing heavily, then go get a fourth plate. Then you hit the soft-serve bar.
That is the experience of this pregnant great white shark, who, on her daily travels, happened upon the corpse of a humpback whale, and thought to herself, “I am going to try to eat this whole goddamn whale.” She spent some 17 hours circling the buffet and grabbing huge bites of it. The conservationist filming the whole thing noted, “She ate so much she was swimming around upside down aimlessly like she was intoxicated.” No follow-up stories have indicated the exact quantity of the whale that she consumed, but it is safe to assume that she went home, laid on her belly, and watched a couple hours of Netflix before falling asleep.