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In news you cannot hide, Brett Ratner is making a FarmVille TV show

(Photo: Getty Images, Frazer Harrison)

Drawn irresistibility to all forms of artifice and looking after asses, Brett Ratner has joined together with Six Eleven Media to create an animated TV version of FarmVille, the popular Facebook game in which people pretend to maintain fake farms and care for fake donkeys, all while actual agriculture withers and dies just outside their window. FarmVille had been rumored as a movie project back in 2011, though it just as quickly disappeared after the world finally figured out its privacy settings. Now it’s being reimagined as a cartoon series that will bring Ratner’s usual knack for story structure to the game’s scenes of plant-watering and the occasional cow getting loose, such as now maybe the cow escapes in a wicked sports car and the plants are watered with tits. “I am thrilled to be expanding the brand with existing fans and also engaging a whole new audience,” Ratner said in a point-and-click statement that, appropriately, contains all the excitement of watching fake grass grow.


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