Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

If Wesley Snipes were really going to prison, would he be starring in a martial-arts comedy with Chuck Norris?

To put it in Kübler-Ross terms, Wesley Snipes is in the “denial” phase of getting sentenced to three years in prison for tax evasion—a stage that manifests itself in trying to go about one’s daily business, and even taking on unnecessary or insurmountable tasks to avoid dealing with emotional stress. Like plotting a J. Edgar Hoover movie, or planning for a film franchise that has already left you behind. But beyond being unhealthy, denial can sometimes be dangerous, as when it causes people to act out and make questionable decisions that can affect other people—such as Variety’s announcement that Snipes has signed on to star in the martial-arts comedy Master Daddy.

The film will reportedly feature appearances from real-life martial artists like Chuck Norris, musical performances from Rock Steady and Quest Crew, and Snipes himself described it as a “multi-racial action comedy” and “a mix between Kung Fu Hustle and Meet The Parents” in a voice full of trembling conviction that it will get made this fall, and as such there’s definitely no need to think about prison—not now, not with so many things to do, and certainly not with Chuck Norris coming by, because Chuck Norris doesn’t make movies with people who are going to prison, now does he? At this point, we’re really looking forward to “anger.”


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