Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Ice cold kid doesn’t give a shit about this hail storm

If you’ve ever given a cat a bath, you’ve probably chortled at how much they hate it. They really do! They go insane in the bathtub, shrieking and inventing new sounds in an attempt to get out of the water. We bemused humans look on and laugh merrily at their pain. But when we, too, get caught in the rain, we behave similarly. People start sprinting and freaking out, screaming, making triage plans for their clothes. We create makeshift umbrellas and start darting from overhang to overhang as if what was falling from the sky was not water but scalding-hot lava. And when what emerges from the heavens is something more than just water—particularly the stone-like projectiles that fall during a hailstorm—get the fuck out of here. People think it’s the apocalypse.

Not this kid.


This kid stands amidst the cacophony and holds his hands out in mild bemusement. He looks to the sky as it intensifies as if to say, “Is this your best, O God? This is your test? I will not move; I am a sentinel made to stand guard over this parking lot. No hailstorm shall stop my patrol, nor shall the threat of soggy socks or even mild head injuries cause me to flinch.” He is the unmoved mover, an inspiration for us all as a new week begins.

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