Screenshot: YouTube

Logan Paul high-stepped onto the radars of people over the age of 14 when, in the early hours of 2018, he shared a video of he and his dopey friends stumbling upon a suicide victim in Aokigahara, a sacred “suicide forest” near Mount Fuji. It was soon revealed that his entire, heavily-vlogged trip was an affront to basic decency, and that we should all be terrified of the influence this guy wields over the millions upon millions of pre-teens that follow both him and his gross brother.

Now, with his reputation muddied but YouTube following boosted—curious how that works!—he’s sat down for an interview with The Hollywood Reporter that attempts to make amends for past behavior while also asking us to feel sorry for him because his “Axe-like Logan Paul body spray” was put on hold. He does all this, by the way, while “snacking on homemade granola bars prepared by his personal chef.”

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Below, we’ve collected the best quotes from this amazing interview:

- On the backlash: “I was so used to people liking me. But being hated? I hate it. I hate being hated!”

- On his regrets: “The first question I asked myself at the beginning of the year was, ‘How do we fix this?’ — when the question I should have asked myself was, ‘How do I fix me?’”

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- On disrespecting Japanese culture: “I was disrespectful everywhere — U.S., Italy, France. The old Logan was plain old insensitive.”

- On stumbling upon a suicide victim: “My first feeling was just dis-fucking-belief.”

- On the criticism he received from Breaking Bad’s Aaron Paul: “He came up to me at whatever event we were at, shook my hand, patted me on the back, ‘Dude, love what you’re doing.’ Then this shit happens, and Aaron Paul is telling me to go to hell? I’m like, ‘You told me you were my boy when we met! It was all good! We have the same publicist!’”

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- On the monetary impacts of the backlash: “Can you imagine? We [were] building the biggest fucking brand in the world. We’re on the verge of, like, product launches. We were about to create the next Axe! And here we are just trying to wrap our heads around what happened.”

- On whether or not he’ll pivot to Snapchat: “I don’t want to be a Snapchat star. I barely want to be a YouTube star.”

- On the trampoline at his mansion: “Girls love trampolines.”

- On the title of his new podcast, Impaulsive: “[It’s] a play on my last name and my tendencies.”

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- On making videos where he gets hit in the nuts: “But, like, dog — I love this shit. This creating? It’s my passion.”

You can expect more where this came from should the dude ever get around to making that documentary about how hard his year was.