Today, The New York Times published an extensive report on how Donald Trump is acclimating to life in the White House, with a bunch of tidbits about how much he likes the phones and how he thinks the Lincoln Bedroom is “something very special.” That’s all pretty standard “new president” crap, though, since it’s not like he’s going to say that he hates the White House’s drab decor and misses the comfort of his hideous golden tower—even if he does. Also, nobody wants to imagine Trump doing whatever gross stuff he does in the Lincoln Bedroom.
Thankfully, there’s a fun detail in The New York Times story that really illustrates how Trump is bringing his lifestyle to the White House. Apparently, the staff has already made sure the kitchen is fully stocked with “the same types of snacks” that Trump liked to have on his private plane, specifically Lay’s potato chips. Sadly, the Times piece doesn’t dig into that any further, so we don’t get any juicy details about if he eats them with a fork and knife or if he just dumps the bag over his head and chews up whatever falls into his gaping maw, but it’s definitely one of those two.
Unless, of course, he doesn’t eat them. Maybe he just likes having them around. After all, Lay’s is an American institution, just like Trump, and they’re both salty, nutritionally hollow, and they leave you feeling bloated and greasy. Plus, the New York Times story says Trump “can go for days without breathing in fresh outside air” and that he “does not read books,” which also applies to potato chips. In fact, the name “Trump” even sounds a little like “chip,” so maybe we can call him “Potato Trump” instead of President Trump. That’ll make these next four years a bit more fun.