While Javier Bardem was rumored to be taking on the role of Blackbeard, the real-life pirate who serves as the villain in Joe Wright's Peter Pan origin story Pan, the actor has, in fact, jumped ship, most likely agreeing with everyone who isn't a studio executive in thinking that the last thing this world needs is another origin story of an all-too-familiar character. Instead, possibly shivering the timbers vacated by Bardem will be Hugh Jackman, who will finally get to connect his Wolverine muttonchops into his character's namesake beard.

Blackbeard was mentioned in passing in J.M. Barrie's original Peter Pan, as the former captain of one James Hook. Hook will appear in the film as well, appearing as an ally of Pan who eventually turns against him‚ÄĒbecause this is a prequel, and that's how these things work. Presumably we'll see Hook lose his hand to a crocodile, swear vengeance, then turn to the dark side of piracy, possibly while shouting, "From my perspective, the Lost Boys are evil!" all while floating down a CGI river.

Wright's previous credits include such swashbucklers as Atonement and Anna Karenina, while the closest he's come to pirates thus far has been directing Keira Knightley in Pride & Prejudice. He's currently searching for a young unknown to play Peter, the boy spirited off to Neverland who becomes a hero to the natives and leads a revolt against Blackbeard and his crew.

Wright is also currently casting Tiger Lily, the daughter of the natives' chief, so Native American actresses in their twenties should start lining up… to write angry letters when a white actress inevitably gets the role.