Now that the Oscars have already moved on to fitting Billy Crystal with a bad perm wig and digitally superimposing him into The Help, we can all concentrate on another, equally meaningful contest—namely America’s Got Talent, which also found itself with a sudden vacancy. According to the Wall Street Journal, a $15 million offer is now out to Howard Stern to come and take Piers Morgan’s place as its arbiter of quality, insofar as it pertains to dancing fat guys and weird stuff with puppets or whatever. Stern has had previous experience appearing in rumors about replacing smarmy British guys on televised competitions, having been named as a possible replacement for Simon Cowell on American Idol. But if the “top source at the show” quoted at the L.A. Times is to be believed, this time there’s “a very good chance he will be doing it”—and the WSJ article contends that the network is even considering moving the show to New York in order to lock him in. Presumably all of this is contingent on Stern agreeing to keep comments about wanting to have sex with the female contestants to a maximum of, say, one in every four.