Jurassic Park

Everyone knows that the Tyrannosaurus rex was a vicious predator, but ever since Jurassic Park brought those fearsome beasts to the mainstream, people have wondered what they were like in the boudoir. Finally, thanks to some dirty-minded scientists, we now actually have some idea. According to The Guardian, researchers recently published a piece in the Scientific Reports journal that theorizes that the dinosaurs had “sensitive faces” that they might have “rubbed together” as part of their “pre-copulatory play.” In other words, when these hornysaurs were in the mood for a little lovin’, they’d light some dinosaur candles, put on some dinosaur Barry White, and just start nuzzling the crap out of each other.

The scientists reportedly came up with this by looking at well-preserved fossils of Daspletosaurus horneri, a newly discovered member of the tyrannosaur family that apparently had a lot of nerve openings on its snout that would’ve allowed the dinosaur (and similar ones, like the T. rex) to feel things with its face the way it would with its tiny, stupid hands. It would be a lot like the “integumentary sensory organs” that crocodiles and alligators have around their jaws, which those animals also use for some sweet, sweet rubbing before getting into the serious love-making.

Basically, the scientists determined that if dinosaurs had these same sensitive areas, then they also probably used them to rub up against their mate before doing the old “boom boom acka-lacka boom boom” with each other. After that, the T. rex would probably even stick around and cuddle for a little while, and maybe it would even spend the night and get breakfast in the morning.