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Horny cat needs glucose drip after sordid, prolific evening of cat sex

Photo: Senchy (Getty Images)

Cat owners—owners of real pets, not the fake headless kindunderstand the unique nightmare that only a litter of kittens can wreak upon your home. It’s one of several good reasons why cat owners and animal control services spay and neuter. Last week, though, a particularly frisky feline offered yet another reason why neutering is an all-important step toward pet wellness. An ultra-horny cat, it turns out, can fuck so much that it needs a glucose drip.

Just ask Mr. and Ms. Zhao, a couple in Guangzhou, the capital of Guangdong Province in South China, who left their cat Xiaopi overnight at a pet hotel last week. Before the pet hotel closed, the still-intact Xiaopi was let loose to roam the pet hotel grounds all night and hang around the other cats. When the couple picked him up the next day, they found that Xiaopi was exhausted and needed fluid therapy. After reviewing some surveillance video and speaking with the pet hotel owners, it turns out Xiaopi had a long night of sexual escapades—in other words, he fucked five different cats. See photos of the pooped paramour over at LADbible.

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Mr. Zhao took to social media to complain about his experience with the pet hotel:

“I thought they’d be professional, but the staff member didn’t feed him during the day, and let him out to roam freely at night,” he posted. “That’s right—all the cats were free to walk around the shop, and then the employee went home. Between around 10:40 p.m. and 5 a.m., my cat mated with five female cats! And those are only the ones I could see in the CCTV footage. And the pet hotel had the nerve to be upset with me, saying some of the cat owners weren’t planning on having kittens. They wanted me to explain the situation to all the other owners. My fucking cat is now exhausted and on a glucose drip—and this is my fault?”

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At least Xiaopi is now in stable condition, according to the latest update. The pet hotel has since apologized and has offered to pay for Xiaopi’s hospital bills. They’ve also offered to compensate each pregnant cat’s owner, sell any resulting kittens, and gift Mr. Zhao some kittens as well. This is notable as Xiaopi is a Russian Blue, a much sought-after cat breed. Also a very horny one, apparently.

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Kevin Cortez

Kevin Cortez writes on the internet. He wrote this.