Screenshot: YouTube

Bon Iver songs are sort of a mood unto themselves, at once wistful and melancholy, digitized but organic. The second you hear Justin Vernon’s voice you feel something—not exactly a lump in the throat, but a sense of the cycle of life spinning wildly around you. It barely matters what he says, as evidenced by the cryptic lyrics and imagery of last year’s 22, A Million—that voice, those chords, that emphatic delivery, is enough to sell anything.

Perhaps in an attempt to put that theory to its ultimate test, Super Deluxe has rendered a Bon Iver soundalike entirely out of conspiracy theorist and terrible person Alex Jones’ free-wheeling DMT-fueled vision-quests. (These are the same people who rendered Donald Trump’s tweets into an emo song.) Hold back the tears as Jones laments the sulfurous smell of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, as he details the vampires and goblins and lizard people of the liberal establishment, and as he barrels through the Texas swamps, a lonely wanderer in search of both companionship and the truth behind Soros-fueled chemtrails conspiracies. Behold, the lonely lament of Alex Jones:

We look forward to his experimental EP about natural male enhancement.

Advertisement