This is a picture of David Hasselhoff holding a popsicle version of himself.

The British media company UKTV has announced that David Hasselhoff will star in a six-episode comedy series called Hoff The Record. The show will air on Dave, UKTV’s comedy channel. RadioTimes is among the outlets characterizing the show as a “Curb Your Enthusiasm-style comedy,” on account of its semi-improvised format. Not only does that phrase stretch the idea of a “style” beyond all reasonable bounds, it also misses the mark. According to UKTV, Hoff is a documentary-style show in which a fictionalized version of the Knight Rider and Baywatch star travels to the U.K. in hopes of reviving his career, making it sound a bit more like The Comeback than Curb.

But rather than dicker over which HBO show will make Hoff The Record suffer by comparison, let’s just enjoy the ludicrous series of Hasselhoff-fellating quotes that accompany UKTV’s press release announcing the show. Hoff executive producer Krishnendu Majumdar gets the ball rolling:

[W]e are thrilled to be working with such a legend and are amazed that he is game to play a jaw-dropping version of himself for us.


UKTV commissioning editor Iain Coyle borrowed Majumdar’s talking point:

We are delighted to be working with a living legend.

But BBC Worldwide’s “commercial director for comedy,” Jonathan Blyth, tops them both with a sentiment that places Hasselhoff, an erstwhile hero of beach-based masturbation fodder, in a pantheon alongside God, the cosmos, and the meaning of existence:

We’re excited to be so closely involved with developing such a unique project that has the potential to tap into the eternal fascination people everywhere around the world have with David.


The endlessly fascinating man himself had this to say about the show:

When I made Baywatch I dreamed of one day having my own show on a channel named after me. Hoff The Record is coming soon to the UK, only on Dave. They did name the channel after me, right…?


Keep in mind that this is the joke Hasselhoff came up with after he had unlimited time to think; Hoff The Record will not afford him that luxury. The show is set to premiere in 2015 for fascinated viewers in the U.K.